The other morning I was walking into the radio station (and we know how painful that can be), when I notice hangin’ outside, upside down, in the corner above the front doors of our Townsquare Media building, a couple of small bats. Of course I ran inside screaming in terror like a little child, afraid they were going to attack me and suck the blood out of neck, where I would soon become a zombie or vampire or a Karen or something. 

When everyone stopped laughing at me (and by everyone, I mean my co-workers who prevented me from calling 911 because I may or may not have felt like I was getting a little woozy), I learned that these little bats were harmless. In fact, they were probably hangin’ there because they were feasting on the little bugs and insects caught in the dusty cobwebs. See! My laziness of not sweeping down the building once a week helped feed these adorable creatures! That’s right! I said it! Adorable! I’ve warmed up to them lil cuties.

Most likely they are just your everyday little brown bats with very tiny teeth, common here in central Washington state. And perhaps these two love bats were even mating. Tis the season, you know. They must have heard us playing some soothing sounds of Barry White in one of the studios and decided that corner was the perfect place to….ah….you know….do the Batusi.

We weren’t the only business in the area who have been visited by the winged wonders of Wenatchee. During my show, we got a call from some listeners saying bats have been spotted on Front Street in Leavenworth, near the Gingerbread Factory. Maybe honor them by baking up and selling gingerbread bats!

Back at the radio station, we went to our request lines asking listeners to give our non-venomous visitors names. Of course we got the different variations of Batman & Robin, Batman & Batgirl, Bruce & Dick, West & Ward, Adam & Burt. As well as Thelma & Louise, Stella & Luna, Batty-Koda and Fern (in reference to the movie, FernGully), Nope 1 & Nope 2 (someone who was afraid of them as I was), Archie & Dingbat (from the old TV show, All in the Family), Buffy & Count Chocula, Bella & Edward, Batty McBatface & Batina, Echo & Radar, etc…

In the end, the names that stuck, that everyone seemed to like was…(drum roll, please)…Ozzy & Sharon As in Ozzy and Sharon Osborne. But before we could celebrate and acknowledge the pair with their new adopted names…the two bats apparently spread their wings and flew the coup. Perhaps to the Bat Cave, to get away from us Jokers.

More From 1340 The Hawk