Target No Longer Taking Checks, But Do We Really Care?

A handful of the world's remaining trees are rejoicing after an announcement this week that Target stores will no longer be accepting paper checks as a method of payment.

The decision will go into effect on Monday, July 15 and is expected to stick for quite some time, even forever in the event the technological infrastructure of the planet actual manages to avoid a complete meltdown at some point in the future.

The Minneapolis-based retailer's decision follows similar moves by stores like Whole Foods and Aldi that have already ceased allowing paper checks as a form of payment in exchange for their goods and services.

Like a few other things that are made of paper, such as maps and encyclopedias, checks have largely gone the way of the dinosaur - having fallen into a moribund place of near extinction thanks to the advent of speedier and more efficient modern technologies that can ensure the withdrawal of money from a customer's bank account in seconds rather than days.

Despite the fact that most of us no longer write checks at nearly the same clip we did back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s (if you're old enough to remember those decades), it seems that plenty of us still tender a few of them every year for this, that, or the other.

I no longer own a house, but when I did, I always used a check to pay the county auditor my quarterly taxes, and I still write a check to the DMV every year when my license tabs are due.

Get our free mobile app

Come to think of it, I'm now writing at least one check per month since the property management company that handles my apartment complex began charging a $2.50 fee for using a debit card or bank account electronically. That's $25 annually and I pay those @#%^&*! enough money as it is, so now they get to deal with depositing my phenomenal-looking John Hancock every 30 days instead (bite me with your ludicrous fee btw. I'd call $2.50 a month 'the cost of doing business', but I'm sure with as many tenants as they handle, that seemingly-nominal amount probably adds up to more like $2,500 a year in their pocket and they're not getting my share of it for the sake of convenience that's for sure. Be dazzled with the flowing curves of my enchanting signature you @#%&ing @#%&ers!).

I also recall writing checks when my bank account was nearly drained and payday was still a day or two off. We all did it, those of us who weren't born with a silver spoon attached to mummy and daddy to swipe when in need of groceries or gas anyway. And it used to work pretty well, provided you didn't try to pass one too many days before your paycheck arrived.

In summary, I guess the fact that Target will no longer be accepting checks has absolutely no impact on me whatsoever. I don't shop there anyway, unless I'm on the road and I happen to need a box of animal crackers or a roll of duct tape. They haven't anything I want, and I've never been too keen on any publicly-traded corporation that uses a bullseye within its logo...kinda says it all regarding what they think of me as a Spartan consumer, don't ya think?

I guess I might be slightly remiss if places like the Internal Revenue Service or the county courthouse stop taking checks, since these institutions just wouldn't feel right without accepting, and actually preferring a method of paying them off that was as trudging as the manner in which they do business to guarantee justice for us all.

Nevertheless, if you still find yourself writing checks at brick-and-mortar stores, you can retain a bit of solace in the fact that places like Walmart, Macy's, and Kohl's are still accepting them for the time being.

I suppose I'm just happy for the trees that Target's move will save. It probably won't add up to that many, and I hear the company's fatcats just doubled their order for Chinese-made toilet paper after hearing their cafeteria sales are up this year, but even a move of corporate discontinuance to help prevent another stroke of Earthly discontinuance by default is worthy of a small celebration.